Creating something we long for starts with believing. It starts with faith that we have the ability to create based on our imagination and hope. It’s a quality so different from willing our way towards an outcome, doing, doing, doing. Quite the opposite. Creating something truly meaningful in our lives starts with the whispers of our inside self, who will approach us when we honor its presence and welcome its words. She is always there for me. She’s always been there. It’s just a matter of being open to her and not being afraid of her. Odd to think I would be so afraid of that which would actually bring me fulfillment. But it’s an odd thing we do. Believing that if we manage and control our outside world of things and people, that somehow we will be safe and satisfied.
There are periods during which that is enough. But for each of us, there comes a time when the outside simply isn’t enough. It always seems to come in a moment of true crisis, when we find that the external world just can’t provide us with what we need. In that moment, we are lost, panicked, grabbing for safety somewhere out there. In that moment of struggle and descent, we flail and batter and bargain to do anything but be exactly where we are. But when we dare to go into this horrible darkness, and we are able to be with that which has always scared us, we are able to see a softness inside of us we never knew was there. This softness of being that approaches us with love, care when we think we can no longer take what is in our lives. And as we sit longer with our softness, we come to realize there’s a beauty of being we never quite understood. A place of absolute serenity and quiet. Where all is well regardless of what the outside world motions to us. And in those moments of quiet, we begin to feel, truly feel our being. We begin to walk through the mist of who we really are and begin to witness that which can give us true joy. Like an amazing novel, it’s a mystery that we must follow and understand. It is present and elusive all at the same time. And we find that every time our minds and the external world dominate, that quiet softness takes its departure, without a word of warning or dissent. It simply recedes. Its patience is eternal. And it waits until we are ready again to sit with it, to wonder with it and to experience it. It is a place that our minds can not understand and will battle for domination, when there is nothing to dominate. For our quiet softness that speaks our truest self needs no defense. It knows its eternal nature and hence its power. It lets our mind do its battle to try to feel powerful and maintain its illusion of control. But when the mind has tired itself out and we are willing again to sit in quiet contemplation, sometimes not out of choice but necessity, our inner knowing approaches us again.
Whispering experiences of the deepest fulfillment that we know is true at that very moment. It seems so real and yet so formless. And it frustrates the mind that continues to try to understand. Yet, as we practice sitting with this place within us, the feelings becomes familiar and we begin to believe of its constancy. And as we believe in it, we begin to believe that we might actually be able to extend this place of joy to more moments in our everyday life. That’s where our imagination steps in. We begin to imagine how our life can be lived in order for us to feel this joy, peace and fulfillment.
For me, my feelings of joy and serenity become pictures, like a slide show, of aspects of my life that could be lived in this state, or, reflect this state. I’ve learned now to believe in these pictures, these visions. Rather than doubting its reality or relevance, I now quickly understand its accuracy. Believing we have an inner knowing, believing that our vision ignites the creation of our future reality, is the starting point. Believing is the starting place for a changed life, towards fulfillment and satisfaction. Believing is a choice we bestow upon our life. Are you willing to believe? What if you knew that your deepest happiness depends on your believing, in yourself, in your whispered joy, in your flashes of vision? What if you believed that all you need and everything you need to be fulfilled, is simply, you?