Judy’s Blog

The Freedom of Personal Accountability

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Life is shared, whether at work or at home. Nothing can be done independently of others or our surroundings. So in this interconnected living, it’s plausible to put responsibilities on others when things get tough. At some point, things always get tough. Sometimes it’s the other person. Sometimes it’s shared. Sometimes it’s really ours to own. Question is, do we discern? Do we take the time to be present with what’s going on so we can process what happened and understand our emotional response to the situation? If you stay present to a situation, you will realize that taking responsibility is always an emotional choice.

When the Shoe Doesn't Fit…

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My children happened upon the cartoon Cinderella last week. My mother and I were commenting about how darling it was…until the shoe fitting part. You know, the part where Cinderella’s foot glides into the shoe held by the prince. We women, who grew up in the US, have always celebrated Cinderella because she was the one chosen by the prince. We celebrated how she was saved by the “knight in shining armor”. As I watched that ending, I became increasingly perplexed by this concept that so many of us have bought into — the concept that we are worthy if and when we fit into somebody else’s model.

How Struggling Can Indicate You’re On the Right Track In Your Transition

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If you choose to become a leader in your life, whether in your internal world or external world, daring to face the struggle of the unknown is the “ticket for entry” for success. Struggle need not be a four-letter-word. Struggle can be respected, even if not welcomed, as you know it is the struggle that will teach you the requisite skills and necessary approaches to be effective in the new landscape.

Accepting "MY" Imperfections

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You are imperfect. I am imperfect. That’s part of being human. There’s something so “old news” about it all. Yet it seems like we are all hiding with terror from this reality of not being perfect…Witnessing and accepting our imperfections isn’t weakness. It’s an act of love. It breeds freedom and acceptance within us. From there, we affect all who are in our circle of life.

How I Became More Socially American: One Encounter at a Time

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I was in seventh grade, at dinner at my friend’s house. At the table were her parents, my friend and me. It was a low key affair. We were having hamburgers. Across the table were tomatoes that I desperately wanted. My mind urged me to “just ask!”. But my body just wouldn’t respond. I couldn’t open my mouth. With hunger beckoning me on, the twelve year old ate my hamburger without the tomatoes…The only way to adapt to a new set of social etiquette is to do it. Just do it. There is no other way.

Attention Working Moms: Unapologetically Set Expectations that Reflect Reality

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The reality for most of the power elite, especially the men who are married with children, is that this scenario is just not experienced by them and thus not understood by them. Thus, they may lack empathy for others who may have to deal with this. Understandably they can thus claim that their employees who are the ones dealing with these “distractions” (mainly women with children) are less focused and less efficient. It’s not explicitly said. It’s never said. It’s just understood by most of us who’s ever been in a corporate setting. But it’s a belief. It’s not a truth.

Working that Works In Our Interconnected World

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We live at a time when we are interconnected in so many ways. At any time we can access information from the internet, check our email or video connect with a person on the other side of the world. Amazing isn’t it? This hyper-connectivity can elevate us or overwhelm us. How do we make it work best for us? How can we be our best self in this 24/7 anytime interconnected world? There are 3 areas to seriously think about:

Staying Open to Honest Feedback — The Good and the Bad

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Being our best self is about embracing our gifts and staying open to criticism. Criticism is not an absolute judgment with 100% accuracy. It’s just someone else’s opinion. So, we need to discriminate the value of that opinion. All criticism is not worthy of your attention. Some are extremely helpful. Others should be chucked. But if we are to soar in this world, we must be willing to see with open and honest eyes. At its best, criticism is a knock at the door to help us see that we are off track from our best. It can serve as a supportive nudge to not hang on to something and choose to stay open to change.

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