Experiencing vulnerability is rarely a pleasant journey, but it is honest. And that honesty offers freedom to the person. Freedom to breathe in her own truth and to feel 100% acceptance of herself. It is beautiful. Even if it lasts for but a minute. It’s a doorway to her true self. Once experienced, the courageous can not help but return to venture through this doorway again. When we learn to shut this doorway, we shut down our truth. As we shut this out from ourselves, we shut this out from others in our life. Before you know it, we’ve created a society where everyone dons “the life mask”, dancing in a dance that sometimes is so far from our own. I find this particularly true for the overachievers, the “successes” in our society.
Professionals & Executives Blog
So far, none of my coaching clients have ever told me they don’t believe in cooperation. In fact, they believe collaborating with a colleague or working with another team is the right thing to do. No doubt, this is what most would say when asked. So why is true cooperation so hard to do? Here’s my hypothesis. Cooperation is a great idea but real life cooperation requires us to face our vulnerabilities and fears because the only way to collaborate with another person is to recognize we are better with someone else, which means we are not enough or we are not perfect. And who likes to admit that?
I have a love-hate relationship with planning. I think it all started when I had my first job when we were all introduced to the Franklin Planner. Notating priorities, deleting done items, forwarding unfinished items. Let me be clear that I strongly endorse planning, planning systems and the like…if they work for you. The world is inhabited by people who love to plan and people who love to live in the moment. Neither is good nor bad. Both has its merits and downsides. As with all things, let’s take all this in moderation.
These tragedies offer observers like us the opportunity to re-assess if we are serving life, if we are living what matters most. Coupled with being close to year-end, it is indeed, a well-appointed time for reflection.
Team effectiveness is driven more by EQ and CQ (emotional and cultural intelligence) than IQ. Why? Because it’s the interpersonal skills that will draw out the fullest intelligence of the team. Setting operating principles, protocols and clear team goals are critical processes to ensure team members from varying backgrounds and preferences are truly engaged.
I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to support many professionals and students as they embark and improve on their professional networking. It’s the one thing we know we “should” do but it’s one of the most challenging things to actually do. Trust me. I know. I still have to work at it. I still have to “psych” myself to engage in it. On a few occasions, I’ve skipped the “networking” part of a conference, because I just wasn’t up to being “on” that day. So, I am a practitioner, still practicing.
Whenever we arrive at a new opportunity, whether it’s a new job, a new school or a new life situation, we all hope for the best in our new chapter. Yet, at the very same time, we feel understandable anxiety in this place of the unknown. We have leapt, but how will we land? This dance to maneuver between hopefulness and doubt, elation and terror is the necessary path through any new experience.
Speaking up starts with a state of mind that believes what we have to say, matters. Believe that. It may take practice, perhaps a lot of practice before you feel more comfortable. That’s ok…Instead of berating yourself, congratulate yourself on your courage. Keep giving yourself positive reinforcements…
The recent media focus on Anne Marie Slaughters article, “Having It All”, and the appointment of Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer shows the great strides yet to be made on truly leveraging and accepting the immense talents of powerful executive women in America.
Asian professionals are perceived by employers to be highly productive because of their strong intellectual capital, strong work ethic and reliability. But they are usually not on the “top of the list” for management position considerations due to a belief that Asian professionals lack leadership skills. But these “leadership skills” are not inborn traits, they are culturally-based behaviors and they are learnable. Employers have the opportunity to improve the ROA of these highly productive professionals.